The Letter (1170)

This is my story, I was able to write it after listening to Gina Zavalis' self titled debut album...so thank you Gina :)

THE LETTER (1170)

To see the world through your eyes Is something I am longing for
All this waiting sometimes feels too much
But I could never break my promise to you
One broken heart is enough

If this pain was due to anything else
I’d completely crumble
But I take it and take it gladly
As it’s the only proof that
What we shared
Was once a reality
And not just a long
Forgotten dream
Or worse
A fantasy

I remember back a decade
To when we first met
I was almost eighteen
And you were fourteen
You told me it was love at first sight
A love that happened by chance
A love that came at the right time
A love that I wouldn’t have changed
Had I seen what the future held for us

You were wise beyond your years
And neither of us cared for our disabilities
Or what anyone else thought
We knew what we felt for each other
Even if we couldn’t see
What we saw in each other
Our love was definitely real

We supported each other
Through the good and the bad
You gave me a sense of purpose
You made me feel needed
Instead of the one doing all the needing
And judging by how often
You text me and
How quickly you panicked
I think I did the same
For you

Three years passed
And our love was still strong
Then one night
The reaper visited your dreams
And stole you away
And that night
Became the beginning
Of your body’s
Eternal rest

Shocked and stunned
I couldn’t
Believe
That you
Were
Gone
My world
That day
Was shattered
I couldn’t
Understand why
You had
To die
So young
At just
Seventeen

It felt like nothing
Could soothe my pain
I was pinning my hopes
On your post mortem
Only to be crushed again
When even that
Held no answers
So I was left
Eternally wondering
Eternally asking
Why

The next blow came
With your funeral
As forgotten was
My 21st birthday
Instead of celebrations
Only commiserations
As I lost much
More than you
I left my heart
There with you
As you are
The only one
I knew it’d be
Safe with

Seven years have past
Since you were taken from me
Still no answers
Still asking why
I know this need
Is slowly killing me
But I died with you
Except my
Body and mind are still
Alive

There are times
You feel so close
I try to
Reach for you
And I know you
Can see me
Those times
Both comfort me
Yet tease me
A reminder
That I am here
On Earth while
You’re free
As a bird
But don’t stop
Coming, please
I wouldn’t want
To be
Totally without
You

So through
Tear-stained glasses
I write this
To let you know
That until
It’s my time
I promise to live on
Let fate take control
And live for
Both of us
Safe in the knowledge
That you are
Keeping a promise too
The promise
To wait
For
Me


© Toni Higgs 25/08/10