Ok so I wrote this after reading some of Jay Liink's collected one liners. I enjoyed them so thought that if he put his favourite ones in a book he could market them as laughter therapy. Then I thought we could make a Jay doll that featured his fave quotes and his laugh. So this was written as a little ditty to market the idea with. It also features references to the 5 songs of his that I have heard:
Feeling like no one could save you now?
Like all the hope from is gone from your life?
Well we may just have the answer.
Don't let depression win hands down
Come put your trust in Jay Link and his one liners to restore the serenity in your life
© Toni Higgs 20/07/10
Tuesday, 27 July 2010
Longing To Let Go (written 08 Jul 2010)
This was partly inspired by "Amy" by Jack Stevens - didn't exactly turn out as I thought it would but here it is anyway:
LONGING TO LET GO
Lost in time
Everything has stopped
Time has passed
No one can see
The struggle
That’s still going on
Inside of me
The world carries on
People have moved on
But I am stuck
Frozen in time
I have accepted
That you my love
Now play among the spirits
Lost to the mortal realm
Forever
The one thing that
Has me stuck like superglue
Is not knowing why
Why you my love
Had to die
But it seems that
Nobody has the answer
To such a simple question
I have had to
Cope with death before
And again since
But my love
Yours is the only death
That has been left unexplained
It’s eating me up
It’s tearing me apart
In every way imaginable
My need for a reason
Is slowly killing me
I can see it happening
Right before my eyes
I wish I could
Kill this need
And be able to
Accept it as
One of life’s mysteries
Before it completely kills me
And I fall to pieces
Unhinged by a love
And need that’s so strong
I wish I could
Kill this need
And stop it from
Making me waste
The rest of my life
Away
© Toni Higgs 08/07/10
LONGING TO LET GO
Lost in time
Everything has stopped
Time has passed
No one can see
The struggle
That’s still going on
Inside of me
The world carries on
People have moved on
But I am stuck
Frozen in time
I have accepted
That you my love
Now play among the spirits
Lost to the mortal realm
Forever
The one thing that
Has me stuck like superglue
Is not knowing why
Why you my love
Had to die
But it seems that
Nobody has the answer
To such a simple question
I have had to
Cope with death before
And again since
But my love
Yours is the only death
That has been left unexplained
It’s eating me up
It’s tearing me apart
In every way imaginable
My need for a reason
Is slowly killing me
I can see it happening
Right before my eyes
I wish I could
Kill this need
And be able to
Accept it as
One of life’s mysteries
Before it completely kills me
And I fall to pieces
Unhinged by a love
And need that’s so strong
I wish I could
Kill this need
And stop it from
Making me waste
The rest of my life
Away
© Toni Higgs 08/07/10
Awaken Your Demonic Lycan to the World of Darren Shan
Inspired by the books of Darren Shan::
AWAKEN YOUR DEMONIC LYCAN TO THE WORLD OF DARREN SHAN
Hey you there, do you like books
That really do give you the spooks
Ones filled with vampires, werewolves, demons and more
Not to mention a ton of gore?
In his first series
Could you please
Prepare yourself for the fright
Of a boy thrust into a land ruled by creatures of the night
Next came Koyasan
Scared of spirits, away from the graveyard she always ran
Then one day she knew she’d have
To face her fear to her sister’s soul save
Grubbs Grady saw his parents and sister Slawtered
To this day it still stays in his head
But that no longer seems to matter
Now he finds himself in the horrific world of the Demonata
Lets meet a boy who embarks on a quest
To prove to his father that he is willing to try his best
To fulfil his destiny and an executioner become
Despite being “thin and scrawny, Jebel Rum”
And for those of us no longer in our teens
Comes an urban gangster series
For something a bit more noir and gritty
Why don’t you let The Cardinal welcome you to his city?
Now if all of this appeals to you
There’s only one thing left to do
For nail biting horror and gritty thrillers, he’s your man
Go buy a book by Darren Shan
© Toni Higgs 16/08/07 (added to May 10 and again July 10)
AWAKEN YOUR DEMONIC LYCAN TO THE WORLD OF DARREN SHAN
Hey you there, do you like books
That really do give you the spooks
Ones filled with vampires, werewolves, demons and more
Not to mention a ton of gore?
In his first series
Could you please
Prepare yourself for the fright
Of a boy thrust into a land ruled by creatures of the night
Next came Koyasan
Scared of spirits, away from the graveyard she always ran
Then one day she knew she’d have
To face her fear to her sister’s soul save
Grubbs Grady saw his parents and sister Slawtered
To this day it still stays in his head
But that no longer seems to matter
Now he finds himself in the horrific world of the Demonata
Lets meet a boy who embarks on a quest
To prove to his father that he is willing to try his best
To fulfil his destiny and an executioner become
Despite being “thin and scrawny, Jebel Rum”
And for those of us no longer in our teens
Comes an urban gangster series
For something a bit more noir and gritty
Why don’t you let The Cardinal welcome you to his city?
Now if all of this appeals to you
There’s only one thing left to do
For nail biting horror and gritty thrillers, he’s your man
Go buy a book by Darren Shan
© Toni Higgs 16/08/07 (added to May 10 and again July 10)
One Way Mirror (written 15 Jun 2010)
This poem was partly inspired by Russell Michael's song "Have You Ever Loved":
ONE WAY MIRROR
I sense you near me
So close at times
My skin tingles with your touch
Other times things
Are much more subtle
A presence too faint to notice
But I always know when you’re near
I can feel your touch
I can hear you there
My senses are alive
When you are near
But I am blind to you
My eyes just can’t see
What I know is there
What’s stopping me from seeing you
When you’re overloading my other senses?
What’s holding me back
From my visual awakening?
I can see everything else
That feels this real to me
So why can’t I see you?
You have the ability to find me
No matter where I am
Free to come and go as you please
But I’m left staggering aimlessly searching
Trying desperately to see anything
Through the drunken stupor
Your presence is intoxicating
My other senses with
© Toni Higgs 15/06/10
ONE WAY MIRROR
I sense you near me
So close at times
My skin tingles with your touch
Other times things
Are much more subtle
A presence too faint to notice
But I always know when you’re near
I can feel your touch
I can hear you there
My senses are alive
When you are near
But I am blind to you
My eyes just can’t see
What I know is there
What’s stopping me from seeing you
When you’re overloading my other senses?
What’s holding me back
From my visual awakening?
I can see everything else
That feels this real to me
So why can’t I see you?
You have the ability to find me
No matter where I am
Free to come and go as you please
But I’m left staggering aimlessly searching
Trying desperately to see anything
Through the drunken stupor
Your presence is intoxicating
My other senses with
© Toni Higgs 15/06/10
If Scotland Signed the Doctor (written 12 Jun 2010)
This was inspired by Doctor Who Series 31 Episode 11 "The Lodger":
If Scotland signed Doctor Who
We'd be on the up and up
This Time Lord's fancy foot work would surely get us through
And maybe even help us win the World Cup
© Toni Higgs 12/06/10
Invisible - 2 Haiku poems (written 12 Jun 2010)
I can sense you here
But can't see you anywhere
I miss you so much
&
I can sense you here
But can't see you anywhere
Show yourself to me
© Toni Higgs 12/06/10
But can't see you anywhere
I miss you so much
&
I can sense you here
But can't see you anywhere
Show yourself to me
© Toni Higgs 12/06/10
Thank You Steven (Written 17 Apr 2010)
I miss you so
I wish you didn’t have to go
On my heart your death has left a permanent mark
And my life was lost to the dark
But then I remember……
I’m thankful to have known you while you were alive
Thankful to have been the one you loved
Grateful that you helped me experience the beauty
That comes from two people that are meant to be one
At night I end up lying awake
Feeling my heart agonisingly break
I always end up wondering why
And that often makes me cry
But then I remember……
I’m thankful for the things we shared
Thankful that for me you always cared
Grateful that you gave my life hope
Because you gave me a purpose and showed me that I was needed
There’s not one day where I don’t think of you
Or where I don’t wish I was with you
There are times when, for death I’d go any length
Because I feel I’ve been drained of all my strength
But then I remember……
I’m thankful that you were mine
Thankful that you had more faith in me than I had in myself
Grateful that even in death
You have promised to wait for me
Life without you physically here is hard
I wouldn’t expect it to be easy
But when I’m struggling I just have to remember
That you promised to wait for me
© Toni Higgs 17/04/10
I wish you didn’t have to go
On my heart your death has left a permanent mark
And my life was lost to the dark
But then I remember……
I’m thankful to have known you while you were alive
Thankful to have been the one you loved
Grateful that you helped me experience the beauty
That comes from two people that are meant to be one
At night I end up lying awake
Feeling my heart agonisingly break
I always end up wondering why
And that often makes me cry
But then I remember……
I’m thankful for the things we shared
Thankful that for me you always cared
Grateful that you gave my life hope
Because you gave me a purpose and showed me that I was needed
There’s not one day where I don’t think of you
Or where I don’t wish I was with you
There are times when, for death I’d go any length
Because I feel I’ve been drained of all my strength
But then I remember……
I’m thankful that you were mine
Thankful that you had more faith in me than I had in myself
Grateful that even in death
You have promised to wait for me
Life without you physically here is hard
I wouldn’t expect it to be easy
But when I’m struggling I just have to remember
That you promised to wait for me
© Toni Higgs 17/04/10
Eternal (Written 13 Apr 2010)
I wish I could turn over and see
Your cheeky smile beaming back at me
And be comforted by the realisation that you’re still there
That the reality in which you were dead was just a nightmare
A reality that I can happily forget
As I know it wont happen for a long time yet
CHORUS 1:
I wish I’d spent more time with you
And expressed just how much I love you
Much more than I used to
I wish I’d let you come to see me
Given us the chance, to alone together be
Like two people together normally
I thought we’d spend our lives together
I thought this would end, never
But now it’s only my regrets that will live with me forever
I wish I could wake up and realise all this worry is unnecessary
Instead of being alone for yet another painful anniversary
Or that I lived in a reality where
Like Romeo and Juliet we died together
Instead of having to use all my strength and might
Just to keep my promise to you until our sprits re-unite
CHORUS 1
I wish I could talk to you
So you could my happiness, renew
Instead of spending my time wondering
If unknown to me that right next to me you are sitting
If it’s realistic of a reunion for me to hope
Or that in doing so my sanity is in fact hanging by an increasingly frayed and narrowing rope
CHORUS 2:
I wish I’d spent more time with you
And expressed just how much I love you
Much more than I used to
I wish I could honestly say that I tried my best
To see you one last time before you were laid to rest
But I wouldn’t have had the strength even if I had been feeling my best
I thought we’d spend our lives together
I thought this would end, never
But now it’s only my regrets that will live with me forever
I wish you knew the answers I’ve been longing to hear
The answers that would extinguish my fear
I wish that you could show me that everything I regret
Is not doing me any good and them I should just forget
And you don’t hate me for the things I promised you
The things that when it came to it I couldn’t do
CHORUS 2
But now it’s only my regrets that will live with me forever
© Toni Higgs 13/04/10
Your cheeky smile beaming back at me
And be comforted by the realisation that you’re still there
That the reality in which you were dead was just a nightmare
A reality that I can happily forget
As I know it wont happen for a long time yet
CHORUS 1:
I wish I’d spent more time with you
And expressed just how much I love you
Much more than I used to
I wish I’d let you come to see me
Given us the chance, to alone together be
Like two people together normally
I thought we’d spend our lives together
I thought this would end, never
But now it’s only my regrets that will live with me forever
I wish I could wake up and realise all this worry is unnecessary
Instead of being alone for yet another painful anniversary
Or that I lived in a reality where
Like Romeo and Juliet we died together
Instead of having to use all my strength and might
Just to keep my promise to you until our sprits re-unite
CHORUS 1
I wish I could talk to you
So you could my happiness, renew
Instead of spending my time wondering
If unknown to me that right next to me you are sitting
If it’s realistic of a reunion for me to hope
Or that in doing so my sanity is in fact hanging by an increasingly frayed and narrowing rope
CHORUS 2:
I wish I’d spent more time with you
And expressed just how much I love you
Much more than I used to
I wish I could honestly say that I tried my best
To see you one last time before you were laid to rest
But I wouldn’t have had the strength even if I had been feeling my best
I thought we’d spend our lives together
I thought this would end, never
But now it’s only my regrets that will live with me forever
I wish you knew the answers I’ve been longing to hear
The answers that would extinguish my fear
I wish that you could show me that everything I regret
Is not doing me any good and them I should just forget
And you don’t hate me for the things I promised you
The things that when it came to it I couldn’t do
CHORUS 2
But now it’s only my regrets that will live with me forever
© Toni Higgs 13/04/10
Said & Done (Written 12 Apr 2010)
I know life is precious
But I never expected it to be as hard as this
With the people I know and love dying so young
When their lives had barely begun
It should make me my life respect
Because I never know what to expect
But I find it hard to about my life care
When all I feel is despair
First there was my Nan, she was 67
My first real experience of someone going to heaven
Then there was Jean who was 60
Still very young to the pearly gates see
Steven, my Knight was next at just 17
I can only imagine what kind of man you would have been
And the things we might have done and seen
Claire was taken at 33
Before she got the chance to, the world see
And now Brian at 27
The same age as me but already taken to heaven
I know my experiences should teach me
To not let my life pass by me
But I’m too overcome by hurt
When I think of how short these lives have been cut
Too preoccupied by how bitter life is tasting
To realise how much of it I’m currently wasting
If I could look down on myself, I’d see I was doing wrong
But I’m too involved and all my rational reasoning is gone
I know I need to live my life for me and let its course run
But that doesn’t take away from the fact that things are always easier said than done
© Toni Higgs 12/04/10
But I never expected it to be as hard as this
With the people I know and love dying so young
When their lives had barely begun
It should make me my life respect
Because I never know what to expect
But I find it hard to about my life care
When all I feel is despair
First there was my Nan, she was 67
My first real experience of someone going to heaven
Then there was Jean who was 60
Still very young to the pearly gates see
Steven, my Knight was next at just 17
I can only imagine what kind of man you would have been
And the things we might have done and seen
Claire was taken at 33
Before she got the chance to, the world see
And now Brian at 27
The same age as me but already taken to heaven
I know my experiences should teach me
To not let my life pass by me
But I’m too overcome by hurt
When I think of how short these lives have been cut
Too preoccupied by how bitter life is tasting
To realise how much of it I’m currently wasting
If I could look down on myself, I’d see I was doing wrong
But I’m too involved and all my rational reasoning is gone
I know I need to live my life for me and let its course run
But that doesn’t take away from the fact that things are always easier said than done
© Toni Higgs 12/04/10
Fire & Water (Written 10 Feb 2010)
This poem is partly inspired by "Katherine Wheel" by HIM:
FIRE AND WATER
You kept my heart going
Kept the fire within burning
And the molten core in check
Without letting the passion fade
When you died the eco-system within
Went out of sync
One stray spark caused my heart to ignite
But without you here there was nothing to get the ensuing fire under control
What started as a spark
Is quickly becoming an inferno
And I’m beginning to suffocate
As the smoke engulfs me from within
The pain in my chest cripples me
As the fire not satiated by my heart
Spreads outwards
And cremates me alive
The pain is nothing short of excruciating
And as the fire reaches my lungs
It becomes impossible to breathe
Then it hits the oxygen within
I’m paralysed with pain
When the fire explodes from me
I expect to die, burned alive
But something unexpected happens
For, all the time I was preoccupied by fire
My pain was also flowing out of me
So much so
I was beginning to drown
When the fire broke from me
It wasn’t just met by oxygen
It was quenched
By a torrent of emotion
@ Toni Higgs 10/02/10
FIRE AND WATER
You kept my heart going
Kept the fire within burning
And the molten core in check
Without letting the passion fade
When you died the eco-system within
Went out of sync
One stray spark caused my heart to ignite
But without you here there was nothing to get the ensuing fire under control
What started as a spark
Is quickly becoming an inferno
And I’m beginning to suffocate
As the smoke engulfs me from within
The pain in my chest cripples me
As the fire not satiated by my heart
Spreads outwards
And cremates me alive
The pain is nothing short of excruciating
And as the fire reaches my lungs
It becomes impossible to breathe
Then it hits the oxygen within
I’m paralysed with pain
When the fire explodes from me
I expect to die, burned alive
But something unexpected happens
For, all the time I was preoccupied by fire
My pain was also flowing out of me
So much so
I was beginning to drown
When the fire broke from me
It wasn’t just met by oxygen
It was quenched
By a torrent of emotion
@ Toni Higgs 10/02/10
Asphyxiation (Written 27 Jan 2010)
This is partly inspired by "Like St Valentine" by HIM:
ASPHYXIATION
The clouds came in so thick and so fast
And coated us in death
For you the end came quick
For me it takes its time
You took your last breath
When you were scorched forever stuck in time
I’m instantly paralysed but sentenced
To die a slow, agonising death
I look at your now peaceful statue
Glad that you, at least are free
While ash silently smothers me
Burning me so painfully slow
It’s clogging my airways
And burning my flesh
The weight upon my lashes
Begin to force what is left of my eyelids shut
So I take my last chance to look at you
And, happy that you are encased forever by my side
I remember how we once were
And let the darkness capture me
Although I can no longer see
I can still feel my body being scorched
It feels like my bones are being cooked
And like my lungs are lined with ash
I feel like I’m stuck in an agonising nightmare
But this is all too real
And even though the physical pain is excruciating
Being here knowing you are gone is worse
So as I lie here aware of nothing but pain
I think of you and how we love each other
And let that be my consolation prize
Until our spirits reunite
© Toni Higgs 27/01/10
ASPHYXIATION
The clouds came in so thick and so fast
And coated us in death
For you the end came quick
For me it takes its time
You took your last breath
When you were scorched forever stuck in time
I’m instantly paralysed but sentenced
To die a slow, agonising death
I look at your now peaceful statue
Glad that you, at least are free
While ash silently smothers me
Burning me so painfully slow
It’s clogging my airways
And burning my flesh
The weight upon my lashes
Begin to force what is left of my eyelids shut
So I take my last chance to look at you
And, happy that you are encased forever by my side
I remember how we once were
And let the darkness capture me
Although I can no longer see
I can still feel my body being scorched
It feels like my bones are being cooked
And like my lungs are lined with ash
I feel like I’m stuck in an agonising nightmare
But this is all too real
And even though the physical pain is excruciating
Being here knowing you are gone is worse
So as I lie here aware of nothing but pain
I think of you and how we love each other
And let that be my consolation prize
Until our spirits reunite
© Toni Higgs 27/01/10
The Promise (Finished 11 Jan 2010)
This is something I started writing a while ago that I put aside for a bit and just looked at it again today. It is partly inspired by The 69 Eyes album "Back in Blood":
THE PROMISE
Life without you is so dead and black
How I wish I could rewind time back
To have you with me once again
So you can take away all my pain
My heart died along with you
I buried it with you too
I don’t know how mortality, my body sustains
As the miracle of life no longer flows through my veins
I feel so alone
With my heart and soul gone
I have nothing left, to life give
Yet somehow I continue to live
Time passes so slowly now
And although I’ll never forget your vow
I wish the reaper soon, my life would take
As the longer I’m without you the loss of my sanity is at stake
I’m beginning to see
That something has happened to me
I don’t know what to do
The more time that passes, the more I seem to crave you
This is a new feeling
Which has set my mind reeling
A hunger is developing that is impossible to ignore
That has struck me at my very core
This need to be with you is insatiable
It’s making me feel increasingly uncomfortable
I know you said our love was eternal
But this wait to be with you again is so infernal
Although I love it when you are in my dreams
My temporary happiness is punctured by my own screams
Without you I’m lost within an abyss
And these dreams remind me of how much, you I miss
I have wanted many a time to my own life take
But my promise to you I could never bring myself to break
So while I wait, for both of us I live on
But know this my love. Rakastan sinua niin paljon
© Toni Higgs 11/01/10
THE PROMISE
Life without you is so dead and black
How I wish I could rewind time back
To have you with me once again
So you can take away all my pain
My heart died along with you
I buried it with you too
I don’t know how mortality, my body sustains
As the miracle of life no longer flows through my veins
I feel so alone
With my heart and soul gone
I have nothing left, to life give
Yet somehow I continue to live
Time passes so slowly now
And although I’ll never forget your vow
I wish the reaper soon, my life would take
As the longer I’m without you the loss of my sanity is at stake
I’m beginning to see
That something has happened to me
I don’t know what to do
The more time that passes, the more I seem to crave you
This is a new feeling
Which has set my mind reeling
A hunger is developing that is impossible to ignore
That has struck me at my very core
This need to be with you is insatiable
It’s making me feel increasingly uncomfortable
I know you said our love was eternal
But this wait to be with you again is so infernal
Although I love it when you are in my dreams
My temporary happiness is punctured by my own screams
Without you I’m lost within an abyss
And these dreams remind me of how much, you I miss
I have wanted many a time to my own life take
But my promise to you I could never bring myself to break
So while I wait, for both of us I live on
But know this my love. Rakastan sinua niin paljon
© Toni Higgs 11/01/10
Six Years - a Haiku (Written 19 Nov 2009)
This, year number six
It has come around so quick
I miss you so much
© Toni Higgs 19/11/09
It has come around so quick
I miss you so much
© Toni Higgs 19/11/09
Free To Remember (written 09 Nov 2009)
These visions of the past
Seem to forever last
They don't seem to want to let
Me, them forget
Not that I want to forget
Just not them control me, let
To remember the past again
But without all this pain
Most of my memories are good
But they don't get a chance to help my mood
Because, this is sad
All the good is obscured by the bad
My memory of the day
Steven left to with the angels play
Doesn't want to decay
As I remember it as if it happened yesterday
Then the day he was buried
I wish it had out of my mind hurried
But it refuses to leave my head
Like a weight that is dead
Like I said myself, I'd never let
Never forgive if Steven I ever forget
I just want to be free again
Free to remember without the pain.
© Toni Higgs 09/11/09
Seem to forever last
They don't seem to want to let
Me, them forget
Not that I want to forget
Just not them control me, let
To remember the past again
But without all this pain
Most of my memories are good
But they don't get a chance to help my mood
Because, this is sad
All the good is obscured by the bad
My memory of the day
Steven left to with the angels play
Doesn't want to decay
As I remember it as if it happened yesterday
Then the day he was buried
I wish it had out of my mind hurried
But it refuses to leave my head
Like a weight that is dead
Like I said myself, I'd never let
Never forgive if Steven I ever forget
I just want to be free again
Free to remember without the pain.
© Toni Higgs 09/11/09
Time Again (Written 06 Nov 2009)
It’s that time of year again
When my heart drowns in grief and pain
I try my best to stay afloat
But there’s no stop button on my emotional remote
I do get a warning first
That my walls are going to burst
That I’m about to drown in tears
Caused by my ever present grief, misery and fears
I can feel what I’ve been keeping inside of me
Trying it’s best to break free
And with each harder hit
I know there’s no way I can stop it
It’s weakened me to the brink of despair
And way past the point of repair
So against it, I have no more power
And no choice do I have but to me, let it devour
As I crack and it floods in
I wait for the nightmare to begin
For you see it’s that time of year again
When my heart drowns in grief and pain
© Toni Higgs 06/11/09
When my heart drowns in grief and pain
I try my best to stay afloat
But there’s no stop button on my emotional remote
I do get a warning first
That my walls are going to burst
That I’m about to drown in tears
Caused by my ever present grief, misery and fears
I can feel what I’ve been keeping inside of me
Trying it’s best to break free
And with each harder hit
I know there’s no way I can stop it
It’s weakened me to the brink of despair
And way past the point of repair
So against it, I have no more power
And no choice do I have but to me, let it devour
As I crack and it floods in
I wait for the nightmare to begin
For you see it’s that time of year again
When my heart drowns in grief and pain
© Toni Higgs 06/11/09
Windows (written 07 Oct 2009)
This poem I just wrote was partly inspired by Jacqui Ryan's current picture on her Twitter profile
WINDOWS
She sits looking out the window
Watching the world go by
Wishing she could be out there in the sun
Instead of being shut in a world of her own
But from the outside world she hides
Scared of letting people in
Of showing them
The hidden world behind her eyes
She may look happy on the outside
But it’s a mirror image
A mask to hide
How she really feels
She used to wear her heart on her sleeve
But then it got hurt
So defensively
She retreated indoors
She shut out the world outside
Hoping that one day her heart would heal
So she could also shut out
How this pain feels
Today she is able to sit at her window
And watch the world go by
But she is full of hope that
Soon she’ll be strong enough to let the world back in
© Toni Higgs 07/10/09
WINDOWS
She sits looking out the window
Watching the world go by
Wishing she could be out there in the sun
Instead of being shut in a world of her own
But from the outside world she hides
Scared of letting people in
Of showing them
The hidden world behind her eyes
She may look happy on the outside
But it’s a mirror image
A mask to hide
How she really feels
She used to wear her heart on her sleeve
But then it got hurt
So defensively
She retreated indoors
She shut out the world outside
Hoping that one day her heart would heal
So she could also shut out
How this pain feels
Today she is able to sit at her window
And watch the world go by
But she is full of hope that
Soon she’ll be strong enough to let the world back in
© Toni Higgs 07/10/09
Darren Shan's Demonata in poetry form (a WIP)
In early 2008 my favourite author Darren Shan's books inspired me to write. I had bits from his Demonata series springing into my head in verse and told through the eyes of another character so I decided to write it down and see where it took me. I am going to (attempt) to keep it going and gradually (if I don't get lost in the plot lines) adapt all 10 books.
All plot ideas are copyright to Darren Shan:
Prologue:
I am Lord Loss
And I am a demon master
But I feed on human misery and sorrow
While others of my kind are only interested in slaughter
When we first opened a tunnel between our world and the humans’
I felt the same as the rest of my horde
But then I discovered a game like no other
One that humans played upon a board
* * * * * *
One:
The reason we crossed
Was to kill off all of human kind
And since I am a master
Help from my familiars I could always find
Most of the humans were weak
The success of our mission continued on
That was until we came up against
The rath of the McConn
Don’t get me wrong we slaughtered most of this time in the end
We were demons up against mere humans after all
But they had the magic of the Old Creatures and a band of warriors onside
Which would later prove to be our first major downfall
* * * * * *
They were soon joined by survivors from a neighbouring rath
To help they promised to do their best
And prompted by a simple but blessed boy by the name of Bran
An unlikely group embarked on a quest
One night when the group had stopped to rest I ordered my familiars to attack
But much angrier I could not get
When Bran led them on a merry dance
And even treated one like his pet
* * * * * *
The unlikely group soon come to a crannog and the one called Bec enters a hut
She’s taken by surprise and when her eyes adjust
She finds it’s not one of us
But a human druid by the name of Drust
He takes the group aside
Says their safety to him doesn’t matter
But demands their help
To defeat us, the Demonata
He explains that we are not the previously feared Formorii
But a magical threat from another world
And that we already have a tunnel
Connecting the humans’ to our demonic world
The newly formed group take to the road
And continue looking for our tunnel
Meanwhile Drust takes Bec aside
To attempt to develop on her magical potential
As time passes
Her potential is plain to see
But both become angry
When her progress isn’t going as well as it should be
Then one night I approach the group
And entice Bec to come to me
But then something unexpected happens
She steals some of my magic from me
From then on Bec has no problem
The magic grows within her so fast
It’s now clear that her powers
Have instantly become so vast
* * * * * *
One night when the group have set up camp atop a hill
I send un-dead children to defeat their mother
Orna looks to them with tears in her eyes and even though she knows it’s a spell
She has to go to them due to her instinct as a mother
As she approaches them she sees them for what they really are
Her children dead, yet alive
But for escape it is now too late
Her children come in to nestle into their mother, and eat her alive
* * * * * *
The group continue west, one person down
And soon come to a small village
One where little Bec
Finds her real heritage
This is the clan MacGrigor
And when they finally let Bec in on her family history
One which combines humans and demons like us
One that left her with more questions and a feeling of misery
* * * * * *
The next day the group continue towards the coast
Drust continues to tutor Bec new spells
The speed that Bec is developing
Still Drust compels
He asks Bec
If he can look within her mind
Her new power is thanks to me
Is what Drust is to find
They glimpse the sea
From atop a hill
Everyone stops in awe
The sight restores their good will
They then spot a boat and people too
A druid and a group of magical beings and perhaps the odd rogue
About to set sail in an attempt
To find the mystical Tir Na N’og
* * * * * *
Soon they are at the sea
And they all marvel at the breathtaking sight
They lie on the edge of a cliff
And the power of the sea makes them wish that off it they could take flight
Not long after that I order my familiars attack
The group put up a good fight
Some of my familiars perished but, Fiachna’s shoulder is missing a chunk
And Ronan over the cliff took one last flight
* * * * * *
Later that day I felt magic surround the druid
To get too attached I could not afford
But that was when Drust
Introduced me to the game played upon the chequered board
But Drust put a spell on me to stop me from getting nearer
So I took Goll to within the reach of Vein
But the annoyingly blessed Bran
Thwarted my plan again
* * * * * *
That night Drust summons Bec
To go see the Old Creatures with him
They must jump off the cliff
And underwater swim
They enter the water
Despite the spells it’s dark and cold
Bec starts to panic and struggles against Drust
He shakes her and warns her to do what she is told
After a while of this claustrophobic swim
With Bec still feeling grave
They come up to the warmer water of the surface
And they are now within a vast cave
Drust has come to see the Old Creatures for advice
And to see if there is any other way
But the creatures sadly reveals
That a sacrifice must be made at the end of the day
The two can get to the tunnel in eight days
But they are in for their second of two frights
For the Old Creatures found out we are due to cross
In just two days and nights
The two climb up a cliff
With Drust lending Bec a hand
And they eventually
Make it back to dry land
* * * * * *
The group head east towards the tunnel
Racing against an impossible deadline
They march on hoping the brain-addled Bran has a plan
And hope everything will work out fine
Fiachna tires and collapses, his quest is over
But Bran returns and spirits swell
The deadline may be made
With the help of horses under the influence of a running spell
Soon Drust asks Bec to ride next to him
To allow him to teach the spells to her
Needed to close the tunnel
In case option one fails and they must use another
* * * * * *
The arrive at the tunnel in just enough time
Goll, Lorcan and Connla head in ready to fight
The few stronger demons that have been sent to guard the tunnel
So that Drust, Bec and Bran can forge ahead to attempt to put an end to their plight
They go into the start of the tunnel
It descends then opens out into a cave
They then see there’s a body combined with it
Astounded but that leaves them wondering what hope they have to humanity save
Turns out Drust had a reason
To come and save all humans other
We came because the tunnel
Was opened by his brother
Connla suddenly stabs Lorcan and invites the demons to come
As he thinks he’ll become the boss
As the deluded warrior thinks
He’s made a deal with me – Lord Loss
My kin finally arrive
And the battling begins
And apart from Drust, Bec and Bran still being alive
We add another notch to our wins
Bran goes missing
They know he’s not dead, just gone
Drust and Bec then come to the main cave
And gain more power from the load stone
* * * * * *
As the spells near an end
Bran returns and realises Bec will die not knowing what to do
He throws a knife in an attempt to save her
But that means option one is hampered, it’s now time to opt for option two
Since Drust is all but dead he becomes the new sacrifice
Doomed to be slit by Bec at the neck
As we the demons are sucked back to our world against our will I can’t resist one last taunt
As the last thing we hear are the anguished last screams of the now eternally trapped, humanity saving Bec
* * * * * *
Two:
Soon after our first defeat I learned of a curse
That afflicted one human family
This was the terrible
Curse of lycanthropy
I was approached by Bartholomew Garadex
A true magician, he was sure
That I was the key
That I was the only one that held the cure
Now I never give for nothing in return
So we agreed on a plan
I said it must involve this human game – chess
Since I was a newly captured fan
* * * * * *
We discussed things at length
Eventually a plan was agreed upon
We would play this game called chess
And I would save one of his cursed for every game he won
But if his luck was against him
And he failed to reach his goal
Then as well as lose his life
I would also torture his soul
I allowed of him
Some practice games
Of these he lost six
But after that he never lost so never my prey became
But eventually the better of him
Was got by his age
And his soul peacefully left
His mortal cage
* * * * * *
After that I heard nothing
For almost of forty years
When Davey McKay came looking
To put a stop to his grief induced tears
But I told Davey that I had no interest in him
As he had no magical ability
But he knew of my love of the game
And he came up with something that made me reconsider his plea
You see Davey was smart
He said that if he won
Both he and his son would be free to go
But if he lost I’d get to kill both him and his son
Even though I liked this idea of his
It didn’t completely satisfy me
One of the new rules I made
Was that all five games in the match were to be played simultaneously
Also someone would have to partner Davey
And battle with my familiars
While Davey plays me at chess
To find a solution to his fears
If his partner lost to my familiars
Before our match finishes
Then I’d let them attack Davey as well
Killing him and fulfilling their cannibalistic wishes
My next twist
Is that if Davey wins
His son would be cured but Davey would have to come to my realm and fight me there
And that’s where the real battle begins
His body would remain in the realm of the humans
Only his soul would come with me
And only if he won this fight
Would Davey’s soul be allowed to return to his body
If however he lost this fight
His soul would remain with me
It would be mine
To torture for all eternity
* * * * * *
Those were the terms
And Davey agreed
In the hope that
From this terrible affliction, his son could be freed
But alas for poor Davey
Luck was not on his side
Into my clutches
He was doomed to slide
His partner lost to my familiars
That was his brother
They were left to finish of Davey and his son
A task which gave them no bother
* * * * * *
For the new way of playing this game
I got a taste
So I decided to approach
Davey’s other relatives post-haste
Most of them thought they would be mad to take up my proposition
All declined except for two
To rid their children of the curse
Anything, they would do
Like Davey one of them lost
So I got three more people to kill
But the other one won
And travelled to my realm with a strong will
Over the coming decades
Most who won the battle on Earth
Lost to me in the world of the Demonata
But some won which showed to try, it was always worth
To Be Continued….
All plot ideas are copyright to Darren Shan:
Prologue:
I am Lord Loss
And I am a demon master
But I feed on human misery and sorrow
While others of my kind are only interested in slaughter
When we first opened a tunnel between our world and the humans’
I felt the same as the rest of my horde
But then I discovered a game like no other
One that humans played upon a board
* * * * * *
One:
The reason we crossed
Was to kill off all of human kind
And since I am a master
Help from my familiars I could always find
Most of the humans were weak
The success of our mission continued on
That was until we came up against
The rath of the McConn
Don’t get me wrong we slaughtered most of this time in the end
We were demons up against mere humans after all
But they had the magic of the Old Creatures and a band of warriors onside
Which would later prove to be our first major downfall
* * * * * *
They were soon joined by survivors from a neighbouring rath
To help they promised to do their best
And prompted by a simple but blessed boy by the name of Bran
An unlikely group embarked on a quest
One night when the group had stopped to rest I ordered my familiars to attack
But much angrier I could not get
When Bran led them on a merry dance
And even treated one like his pet
* * * * * *
The unlikely group soon come to a crannog and the one called Bec enters a hut
She’s taken by surprise and when her eyes adjust
She finds it’s not one of us
But a human druid by the name of Drust
He takes the group aside
Says their safety to him doesn’t matter
But demands their help
To defeat us, the Demonata
He explains that we are not the previously feared Formorii
But a magical threat from another world
And that we already have a tunnel
Connecting the humans’ to our demonic world
The newly formed group take to the road
And continue looking for our tunnel
Meanwhile Drust takes Bec aside
To attempt to develop on her magical potential
As time passes
Her potential is plain to see
But both become angry
When her progress isn’t going as well as it should be
Then one night I approach the group
And entice Bec to come to me
But then something unexpected happens
She steals some of my magic from me
From then on Bec has no problem
The magic grows within her so fast
It’s now clear that her powers
Have instantly become so vast
* * * * * *
One night when the group have set up camp atop a hill
I send un-dead children to defeat their mother
Orna looks to them with tears in her eyes and even though she knows it’s a spell
She has to go to them due to her instinct as a mother
As she approaches them she sees them for what they really are
Her children dead, yet alive
But for escape it is now too late
Her children come in to nestle into their mother, and eat her alive
* * * * * *
The group continue west, one person down
And soon come to a small village
One where little Bec
Finds her real heritage
This is the clan MacGrigor
And when they finally let Bec in on her family history
One which combines humans and demons like us
One that left her with more questions and a feeling of misery
* * * * * *
The next day the group continue towards the coast
Drust continues to tutor Bec new spells
The speed that Bec is developing
Still Drust compels
He asks Bec
If he can look within her mind
Her new power is thanks to me
Is what Drust is to find
They glimpse the sea
From atop a hill
Everyone stops in awe
The sight restores their good will
They then spot a boat and people too
A druid and a group of magical beings and perhaps the odd rogue
About to set sail in an attempt
To find the mystical Tir Na N’og
* * * * * *
Soon they are at the sea
And they all marvel at the breathtaking sight
They lie on the edge of a cliff
And the power of the sea makes them wish that off it they could take flight
Not long after that I order my familiars attack
The group put up a good fight
Some of my familiars perished but, Fiachna’s shoulder is missing a chunk
And Ronan over the cliff took one last flight
* * * * * *
Later that day I felt magic surround the druid
To get too attached I could not afford
But that was when Drust
Introduced me to the game played upon the chequered board
But Drust put a spell on me to stop me from getting nearer
So I took Goll to within the reach of Vein
But the annoyingly blessed Bran
Thwarted my plan again
* * * * * *
That night Drust summons Bec
To go see the Old Creatures with him
They must jump off the cliff
And underwater swim
They enter the water
Despite the spells it’s dark and cold
Bec starts to panic and struggles against Drust
He shakes her and warns her to do what she is told
After a while of this claustrophobic swim
With Bec still feeling grave
They come up to the warmer water of the surface
And they are now within a vast cave
Drust has come to see the Old Creatures for advice
And to see if there is any other way
But the creatures sadly reveals
That a sacrifice must be made at the end of the day
The two can get to the tunnel in eight days
But they are in for their second of two frights
For the Old Creatures found out we are due to cross
In just two days and nights
The two climb up a cliff
With Drust lending Bec a hand
And they eventually
Make it back to dry land
* * * * * *
The group head east towards the tunnel
Racing against an impossible deadline
They march on hoping the brain-addled Bran has a plan
And hope everything will work out fine
Fiachna tires and collapses, his quest is over
But Bran returns and spirits swell
The deadline may be made
With the help of horses under the influence of a running spell
Soon Drust asks Bec to ride next to him
To allow him to teach the spells to her
Needed to close the tunnel
In case option one fails and they must use another
* * * * * *
The arrive at the tunnel in just enough time
Goll, Lorcan and Connla head in ready to fight
The few stronger demons that have been sent to guard the tunnel
So that Drust, Bec and Bran can forge ahead to attempt to put an end to their plight
They go into the start of the tunnel
It descends then opens out into a cave
They then see there’s a body combined with it
Astounded but that leaves them wondering what hope they have to humanity save
Turns out Drust had a reason
To come and save all humans other
We came because the tunnel
Was opened by his brother
Connla suddenly stabs Lorcan and invites the demons to come
As he thinks he’ll become the boss
As the deluded warrior thinks
He’s made a deal with me – Lord Loss
My kin finally arrive
And the battling begins
And apart from Drust, Bec and Bran still being alive
We add another notch to our wins
Bran goes missing
They know he’s not dead, just gone
Drust and Bec then come to the main cave
And gain more power from the load stone
* * * * * *
As the spells near an end
Bran returns and realises Bec will die not knowing what to do
He throws a knife in an attempt to save her
But that means option one is hampered, it’s now time to opt for option two
Since Drust is all but dead he becomes the new sacrifice
Doomed to be slit by Bec at the neck
As we the demons are sucked back to our world against our will I can’t resist one last taunt
As the last thing we hear are the anguished last screams of the now eternally trapped, humanity saving Bec
* * * * * *
Two:
Soon after our first defeat I learned of a curse
That afflicted one human family
This was the terrible
Curse of lycanthropy
I was approached by Bartholomew Garadex
A true magician, he was sure
That I was the key
That I was the only one that held the cure
Now I never give for nothing in return
So we agreed on a plan
I said it must involve this human game – chess
Since I was a newly captured fan
* * * * * *
We discussed things at length
Eventually a plan was agreed upon
We would play this game called chess
And I would save one of his cursed for every game he won
But if his luck was against him
And he failed to reach his goal
Then as well as lose his life
I would also torture his soul
I allowed of him
Some practice games
Of these he lost six
But after that he never lost so never my prey became
But eventually the better of him
Was got by his age
And his soul peacefully left
His mortal cage
* * * * * *
After that I heard nothing
For almost of forty years
When Davey McKay came looking
To put a stop to his grief induced tears
But I told Davey that I had no interest in him
As he had no magical ability
But he knew of my love of the game
And he came up with something that made me reconsider his plea
You see Davey was smart
He said that if he won
Both he and his son would be free to go
But if he lost I’d get to kill both him and his son
Even though I liked this idea of his
It didn’t completely satisfy me
One of the new rules I made
Was that all five games in the match were to be played simultaneously
Also someone would have to partner Davey
And battle with my familiars
While Davey plays me at chess
To find a solution to his fears
If his partner lost to my familiars
Before our match finishes
Then I’d let them attack Davey as well
Killing him and fulfilling their cannibalistic wishes
My next twist
Is that if Davey wins
His son would be cured but Davey would have to come to my realm and fight me there
And that’s where the real battle begins
His body would remain in the realm of the humans
Only his soul would come with me
And only if he won this fight
Would Davey’s soul be allowed to return to his body
If however he lost this fight
His soul would remain with me
It would be mine
To torture for all eternity
* * * * * *
Those were the terms
And Davey agreed
In the hope that
From this terrible affliction, his son could be freed
But alas for poor Davey
Luck was not on his side
Into my clutches
He was doomed to slide
His partner lost to my familiars
That was his brother
They were left to finish of Davey and his son
A task which gave them no bother
* * * * * *
For the new way of playing this game
I got a taste
So I decided to approach
Davey’s other relatives post-haste
Most of them thought they would be mad to take up my proposition
All declined except for two
To rid their children of the curse
Anything, they would do
Like Davey one of them lost
So I got three more people to kill
But the other one won
And travelled to my realm with a strong will
Over the coming decades
Most who won the battle on Earth
Lost to me in the world of the Demonata
But some won which showed to try, it was always worth
To Be Continued….
May be a delay in updating
Ok so for some reason when I go to copy and paste stuff in it isn't working and some of my poems are really long I mean like 7 pages long so there's no way I'm gonna type them all up again
Lack of posting
Ok so I've realised I've let this blog slip a little so I will try to get it back up to date
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